


enough

by sleepoverdose



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Crying, Death, Goodbyes, M/M, Regret, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 09:13:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18797371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepoverdose/pseuds/sleepoverdose
Summary: in which seokmin is having troubles in saying good bye, and jeonghan helps him do so.





	enough

It is the last day.

Seokmin does not want to let go.

He holds onto his hand, and gives it a tight squeeze. It was not out of comfort for him, nor to tell him he was okay. Seokmin was not okay. It was out of desperation. He clings onto his hand, as if it was a prayer, as if the mere act of doing so, can save him.

He does not want to leave. He wants to stay. He wants to survive.

“Jeonghan, Jeonghan, please. Jeonghan.”

Seokmin looks at him, stares into his eyes to find any sign of hope. He knows there is none, but he keeps searching for a miracle anyways.

He wants to live.

Jeonghan holds onto him. He holds onto Seokmin tighter than he has ever had before, because he knows it might be the last time he can do so.

He wants him to live, but fate does not often grant our wishes.

They cannot do anything about it.

And for the first time, it is Seokmin that is crying.

It is Seokmin that is in need of comfort. It is Seokmin that does not know what to do.

For the first time, it is Seokmin that will leave him.

“Jeonghan, I don’t want to leave. Jeonghan, I’ll live right? Tell me I will please, Jeonghan. Please tell me I’ll stay.”

But Jeonghan will always be the one to accept the truth first. While Seokmin finds a silver lining in everything, Jeonghan knows when it is time to stop.

“Seokmin,” he holds his hand tighter and looks into his eyes, “I don’t think that will happen this time.”

Now, it is Jeonghan that cries. Seokmin just stares at him in wide eyed shock as tears stream from his face. He knows Jeonghan is right, but how can he say it out loud so easily? His chest heaves, and his breathing is labored. He thinks it is unfair.

“Jeonghan, it’s not enough. It’s not fair. We were supposed to do so many things, Jeonghan. We were supposed to do it together.”

Jeonghan cries harder, and feels his heart break. His shaky hand tries to wipe away Seokmin’s tears. He strokes his hair, and tries to comfort him as well, just as Seokmin always did for him.

“I know,” he tells him, “I know.”

He notices Seokmin already has troubles with breathing, his eyes barely open. Yet Seokmin still cries, he still lives. Jeonghan knows he wants to fight it, but he already knows it is a losing battle.

“Seokmin,” he starts, “you can let go, Seokmin—“

“No, J-jeonghan,” he struggles to form his words, but he continues, “I don’t—I don’t want to. P-please don’t—don’t tell me that. It’s not fair. I-i’ts not enough. We were—“

“Yes, I know that, Seokmin,” Jeonghan pressed his forehead upon his, “I know it is not enough. I know it’s not fair. I know we were supposed to do so much more—together. I know that.”

Their tears keep on flowing, and Seokmin is fighting for dear life.

“But you know,” Jeonghan looks into his eyes once more, and smiles. “Even if we had more time, it will never be enough.”

Jeonghan closes his eyes, and for a moment, he too wishes for this not to be the end. But he continues on, and tries to say a proper goodbye.

“Seokmin, even if we had, all the seconds, all the hours and minutes, the months, and years, all of those—will never be enough,”

He looks at him once more, trying hard to remember, his eyes, his nose, his lips, his cheeks. Jeonghan strokes his cheeks.

“So, even if we have to say goodbye now, I am lucky to have met, and at least know, a part of you.”

Seokmin breaks into a sob, and nods. He nods because he knows what he said was true.

He nods because he finally accepts his fate.

“It’s okay.”

Jeonghan forces himself to make him believe it as well.

“It’s okay, Seokmin.”

Jeonghan pulls him into a hug, holds him in his arms, whispers into his ear, and says his final words.

“It was enough.”

**Author's Note:**

> yes, his final words aren't "i love you" because that is already a given.
> 
> also, feel free to kill me, i will be expecting y'all.
> 
> kidding aside, i'd love to hear what you guys think of it, so feel free to leave kudos or comments !!
> 
> uwu that's all thank you so much for reading <3


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